A show of heart and hands.

I have been on social media less these past weeks. It’s the build up to Christmas for us, and I’ve had some tight writing deadlines.

Popping on has been like overhearing conversations at a party that make your heart hurt.

People I respect (from my social media distance) being picked at in ways that are just not polite. Unnecessary. Not on.

There seem to be waves of love on social media, where you see so much good ‘work’ going on. So much positivity and deep intention to make changes in the right direction. People supporting others and championing success whilst supporting those who are struggling. Then there seems to be a flip. This last week or so has seemed to be that flip.

When you are struggling yourself, it is easy to try and boost yourself by being critical of others. How well we are doing when we see ourselves above the decisions that others have made. I understand that. Sometimes we just say things that we did not think through enough to have worded it better (or to prevent us from saying it all). I get that too. I’m quite sure I’ve said the wrong thing with the best of intentions. If I have, I’m sorry. I am sorry.

The truth is that the best way you can make a change is by positivity. It might not be the quickest, but it’s the best.

This last fortnight I have been meeting myself coming backwards. There haven’t been enough hours in the day and so I’ve been using up those ones in the night. It’s not sustainable, I know, but sometimes you just need to do that.

It is amazing how quickly people were ready to criticise that things were not running as smoothly as they usually do. People who were having those things done for them. They felt entitled to me being ‘perfect’, always.

Yet, it was also interesting to see who focused on the positives. Who noted and reflected the work that goes in to keeping a boat stable in waves and how grateful I was for those people and their few words.

My piece of unsolicited observation for today is how important it is to consider, before you speak, that people will have different priorities to yours. They have their different priorities because their situations are different.

Pre-child me would never have left the house with these nails. These nails on these battered hands. Pre-child me would have been ashamed by dry wrinkled ‘granny hands’. Me now, has vastly, vastly, different priorities.

That is no criticism of your priorities or what makes your wheel turn.

We are all in different places. My wheel has turned a few times and all I do is the best that I can in the place that I find myself. I have found myself in a number of different places. The one I hold now is not the one I held in my last stage. When the wheel pauses, I hold my breath, reprioritise, let that breath back out and keep on moving.

Everyone else you see will be doing exactly the same. We can listen and we can learn, we might even be able to advise and support, but we are not there to preach (she says, sounding a tad preachy).

Whatever you choose to celebrate, whether you choose to celebrate or not, I wish you (the closest you can get to) peace and an abundance of goodwill.

-————————————-

If you are struggling with the festive season, please consider whether you would benefit from getting relevant support. https://helplines.org/helplines/

#priorities

#highcroftwriting #seasonalstress #christmastime #showyourhands.