For the love of museums - The art of curating our own experiences.

The Harris Museum

For as long as I can remember, I have had a love for museums and art galleries. Castles, stately homes, even craft fairs in old buildings. Places where I can wander, learn, and stare at things of beauty. It gave me a calm I appreciated, even if I didn’t understand.

As my child reached ‘toddler’, I stopped going. She did not like darker more confined spaces (that some older properties have) and did not have the patience to be still for long. Being confined, unable to run free, is something she will tolerate in the effort to be respectful, but is definitely not something she enjoys.

Last weekend, with the weather decidedly sodden, we headed to a small city museum to meet family. It’s architecture grand and beautiful, for mum, but it was light and airy for her. In short, it broke the spell and I am all for it.

She has passed through toddler, is well and squarely in infant, and she loved it.

What I learnt, the reason it was a particularly special experience that made me start thinking and typing, was that it was about letting her choose her way of experiencing it. Letting her wander, explore, and occasionally be a little louder than my ‘Polite Englishness’ is trained to express in those situations. It wasn’t about curating her view or her learning, it was about letting her eye take her and having her own mind curate her experience. I do this in our other experiences. Why not in these?

It helped that they had sporadically placed items for kids. The wooden puzzle depicting the dock, the button to make the elk skeleton ‘moo’ (even if she was terrified) and the pull out drawer of toys, but what helped the most was dropping how I saw the opportunity before me and looking at it through her eyes.

Letting her lead the experience, letting her focus on what interested her, and going back to the same part time and again if that was what she wanted, was what she needed to relax and enjoy. She learnt to read new words from display signs, picked her favourite of all the outfits in the fashion section and tried to find patterns or objects in the abstract art.

This approach would not have been as easy in somewhere rammed with people, where you follow a pre-determined route. Our visit was timed just right - other people were ‘pootling’ but no one was jostling. I congratulate them in that it was pitched perfectly - it was light and airy enough for a pleasant experience but busy enough with people to reflect that the displays were of interest.

Why am I writing this down? Why has it stuck with me? It turned out to be a big old lesson in parenting and maybe life.

It helped me understand what I need to look for, in order to re-open up her experiences. The small dark stately homes are still out for now, she does not like being herded through in a line, but the open art galleries and museum displays are very much now back in.

Display cabinet at the Harris Museum

The more important element was that it also made me consider what other situations she doesn't favour - where it might be more how they are presented and not the experience in itself. What patterns do we follow because they are how they were first presented, how we are ‘expected' to approach them, or even how I like it and hadn’t considered someone else might not? What could be altered to make an experience, or moment, more enjoyable for her? We don’t see the world in the same way, and that’s ok. Part of my parenting journey thus far has been learning how she sees things, understanding her reactions and managing those situations she does not like.

This visit made me realise that she has reached the age for the next step. She’s growing up...

It is now time to not to manage the situation or the moment she does not like, but to assist her in starting to manage the situation for herself. Helping her find the pathway she is comfortable with. I am part bursting with pride and part terrified.

Yes, it also made me realise that I could also apply this thinking to myself and that's another journey altogether.

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