When you can’t do what you want to do...

I am not good when I cannot help. I’m a fixer by nature. If something is out of my skills area, then I aim to introduce the people who can.

I am all too well aware that, as much as I hate it, there will always be things that are out of scope of my ever having any real impact at all. With that comes guilt.

I can make donations, and say prayers, but when I can’t tangibly fix it, or make it better, I can feel lost.

This week, the rolling nature of routine and must do’s, commitments and calls for my time, has meant that I have been required to keep on moving regardless of what is going on in the world. Last night that wasn’t as fully the case anymore.

There are always responsibilities, I am forever checking the clock to see where I am with timings. I’m always moving towards the next ‘time slot’. Everyday there’s something I need to be getting ready for, even on weekends. Weekends just mean different ‘things’. It’s time to cook lunch, it’s time to do the washing up before we have to go out, it’s time to run a bath so we’re not late for bedtime.

If there’s a gap in a schedule, I’m not really sure what to do with myself.

So today, in a day where I’m very aware of what I can’t do, I chose to go back to basics.

I focused on things I could do - in the here and now - like ‘darning’ slipper socks (it’s my first time and I appreciate it’s not actual real darning but, whatever I did, it’s worked...) and cutting appliqués off old baby jumpers and sewing them on leggings that had holes in the knees.

Over the coming days I will lean heavily on the timeless principle that when you can’t do what you want to do, choose to do something you can.

As always, if you are feeling troubled, please consider whether you think you would benefit from getting relevant support. https://helplines.org/helplines/

If you feel led to donate and provide assistance at this time, please ensure that your sources are legitimate/vetted. It is important to safeguard yourselves as you try and help others.

© Highcroft Writing 2022