World Eczema Day - Better late than never.

Yesterday was World Eczema Day.

I held off on posting something because I am not an expert but, overnight, my silence played on my mind.

These types of days are about awareness and as I search online for guidance and support, to help me help my daughter wind her way through her food allergy life, I also look for solidarity. It helps to know that I’m not alone.

Overnight, it occurred to me that, for that reason alone, I should be posting. I have benefited from others efforts and I should be giving that back in whatever small way I can.

Though I wouldn’t wish anyone to go through what we go through, I’m human and it helps to know I’m not alone in this struggle. To be completely honest, it lessens the thought that I’m failing her by not preventing outbreaks from happening. Seeing other people work so hard and still struggle lets me believe that I am absolutely doing the best that I can do in any given day. I am not alone.

We’re managing some small but severe patches at the moment, due to recent contact with her allergen but we are managing. It is a time of:

• applying repair cream, rather than the protect;

• wearing long sleeved clothes, so it doesn’t get infected;

• sitting with her as she sleeps -whispering ‘try not to scratch sweetheart’ and gently batting her hand away as she tries to stop the itching.

Small but severe patches means that in comparison to many other we are lucky. It doesn’t always feel like it, because it is one more chip away at our resilience in the daily fight to keep her allergy-safe, but as I sit to take stock, I am grateful it is not worse.

Eczema for us, is an indicator of something else. If she has a break out, we know she has had recent contact with her allergen.

Unlike ingestion, where a response would be more immediate, touch from a contaminated surface will take just a little bit longer to work on her system.

It doesn’t help us prevent these contacts from happening in the moment, but sometimes it gives us a trend we can see in hindsight. If it keeps happening after a trip to the same or a similar location? If it regularly happens after specific activities? They are things we need to look at.

Though not scientifically proven, I’ve seen a pattern of my daughters behaviour changing after contact with her allergen. She is more sensitive emotionally and less patient. Her behaviour can be driven by a frustration that isn't typical for her. Seeing the eczema sometimes gives me the ‘heads up’ that this change will be coming and helps me better respond to it. I can’t blame the eczema, it’s caused by contact with the allergen. I can’t blame the allergen, it’s harmless to others without an overreactive immune system. I’m an allergy parent, there’s still an unhealthy dose of blaming myself, but I’m slowly becoming better at reacting more evenly to these outbreaks.

I wish she didn’t have the discomfort and the tears.

I wish we didn’t have the extra effort, the additional concern in an already challenging day.

I wish we didn’t have the extra cost.

I wish we didn’t have the associated increased risk to her health.

I am still grateful. Everyone is dealing with something and we are luckier than many. I am also grateful for the support from family, friends and strangers alike. It is with support that we get through the challenges, the frustrations, fears and tears.

Whether it is to share the pain or pick their brain, I benefit from online allergy and eczema support groups on a weekly basis. Be it a new cream to buy, a stockist for certain protective clothing we might need, handy tips, or just a virtual hug - they have all made a difference. Because of this, I am here. A day late, but here. Adding my quiet voice to the many others.

If you find yourself battling, struggling, find your support network, fall back on yours. If you don’t have one yet, go find one. In my experience, they will always try their best to catch you.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this piece, please consider whether you would benefit from accessing relevant support.

https://helplines.org/helplines

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